Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
