Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
