Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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