Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
