Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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