Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
