Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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