i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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