It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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