I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
