ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize