i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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