cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize