I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We don't watch enough power rangers
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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