She is in my trunk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
