Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
