I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
