I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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