I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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