just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
