make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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