So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
