He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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