Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
