well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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