return my video game
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
