so explain again why im purple
no
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
