did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my poor anus
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
