but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
