yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
