Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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