We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
