oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
