Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
