Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
