It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
