Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
