We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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