"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
