So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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