well you can't waste a boner
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We have started to decorate penises.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
pray to the hookup gods
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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