it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
