all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize