she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
