Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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