4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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