"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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