Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
