I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
