I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize