one might say we're banned from that church
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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