Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
