I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
