"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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