let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
