I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
