dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
