I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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