You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
