I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
