The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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