So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How's work?
Spinning.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
